Choose Must

14 Jan Choose Must

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

I do, but, full disclosure, I didn’t always. During the trenches of my career-based depression each new hurdle felt like a special kind of torture that was crafted just for me. It certainly never crossed my mind that—looking back one day—all of these experiences would make sense. Like a jigsaw puzzle where every piece fits together perfectly.

My puzzle isn’t complete yet by any means, but I’m beginning to see the picture. I have a newfound appreciation for all that crosses my path, which is why my “stumbling” on the book The Crossroads of Should and Must by Elle Luna didn’t occur to me as coincidental at all.

While cleaning up my things in the lunchroom at my previous job a couple of years ago, I noticed my co-worker (who is also an avid reader) had a book lying on the table. The cover captured my attention immediately—with its handwritten font and colourful letters. And I’m pretty sure I have some sort of laser vision for the word ‘passion’ written on anything, so my focus quickly zeroed in on the subtitle. This was, without a doubt, my kind of book. I knew it without having read a single page.

I quickly raced back to my desk and Googled the title. But instead of directing me to Indigo or Amazon, as I’d expected, the query led me to an article on Medium.com by the same name. (If you haven’t read Luna’s essay yet, I would highly suggest doing that RIGHT NOW. Before you even read another word of this post.)

To say that it moved me would be the understatement of a lifetime. More accurately, it shook me to my core. At the time that I read it I was at that crossroads, and I had been for quite some time. I’d just never heard it explained in such a way before.

There was one section of the essay that particularly resonated with me. It summed up so perfectly all of the thoughts and feelings I’d been at war with since I graduated from university:

Should is how others want us to show up in the world — how we’re supposed to think, what we ought to say, what we should or shouldn’t do. It’s the vast array of expectations that others layer upon us. When we choose Should the journey is smooth, the risk is small.

Must is different—there aren’t options and we don’t have a choice.

Must is who we are, what we believe, and what we do when we are alone with our truest, most authentic self. It’s our instincts, our cravings and longings, the things and places and ideas we burn for, the intuition that swells up from somewhere deep inside of us. Must is what happens when we stop conforming to other people’s ideals and start connecting to our own. Because when we choose Must, we are no longer looking for inspiration out there. Instead, we are listening to our calling from within, from some luminous, mysterious place.

You know how sometimes you need someone or something to tell you it’s time to take the leap of faith? This article was my permission slip to live the life I’d been suppressing for far too long.

The second I got home that night ordered Elle Luna’s book, the one inspired by her viral essay of the same name. And the day it arrived in the mail I knew it would have a profound impact on my life because this passage was written on the inside cover:

 …I’ve found that things appear at the ideal time. Not before. And not after. Consider the possibility that this made its way into your hands because you wanted it to. Because a part of you has seen a crossroads in your life, and you’re ready for the journey ahead.

Needless to say, I devoured the book in a one-hour sitting.

By the time I finished the last page the book had so many flags in it that it could have taken flight. Each word was like a lightning bolt to the soul.

This book was my epiphany. The kind of spiritual awakening that you can’t suppress in order to go on living the life you had before you opened its front cover. Nothing was the same after having read it. I was never the same.

If, after having read this post (and Luna’s article), you feel you are also at this crossroads in life, I compel you run to your nearest bookstore and pick up a copy of the book. It just might be the push you need to make the life change you’ve been mulling over for far too long. It just might inspire you to embrace, as Luna said, your “truest, most authentic self.” It just might change your life.